Closing the Door…

As I travel through life’s journey, I find myself at yet another crossroads…
…and I’m forced to ask the question…
…can I close the door on love?…

Am I ready to walk away from the very thing that I’ve fought for…
….prayed for…
….cried for…
…for all of these years…

My heart encourages me to persevere…
…but my mind says it’s time to move on…
…is it really worth it…
…what’s it all about…

…I pull…
…you push…
….we love…
…we hurt…
…we break…
…I cry…
…you run…
…time passes…
….I wait…
….We return…
…we love…
…we hurt…
….we break…
…you run…
…I cry…

And the cycle just keeps repeating…
…it seems the story never ends…
Now, I’m forced to ask the question…
…is it really worth it?…
…What’s it all about?…
…Can I close the door on love?…

Is it time to turn the page???

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”― Paulo Coelho

We Are One

A little nostalgia…because I’m an old soul…who is feeling a little bit homesick…

Can’t understand
Why we treat each other in this way
Taking up time
With the silly silly games we play
We’ve got our love
And no matter how it’s said or done…

We are one
No matter what we do
We are one
Love will see us through
We are one
And that’s the way it is…

Sometimes I feel
That we try and make each other sad
The things we do
How we make each other feel so bad
We’ve got so much
We could all be having so much fun…

We are one
From the very start
We are one
Deep down in your heart
We are one
And that’s the way it is…

I Can’t understand
Why we treat each other in this way
Taking up time
With the silly silly games we play
We’ve got our love
And no matter how it’s said or done…

We are one
No matter what we do
We are one
Love will see us through
We are one
And that’s the way it is…

“Apology Girl”

I promised myself I would no longer dwell in the shadow of my past…but old wounds have a way of resurfacing, reminding us that we’re not as healed as we think we are…

My apologies for my brokenness…

I surrendered my pieces to God a long time ago…and I prayed he would give me a fresh start…a new beginning…but what do you do when God gives you exactly what you prayed for, but insecurity convinces you that you don’t deserve it? How do you dispel the memories from relationships past that have convinced you that you’re not worth staying for? I don’t mean to be pessimistic, but it’s easy to expect the worst when you’ve become accustomed to things not working out…

Forgive me for my pieces…

I don’t mean to project my insecurities onto you…because I know what we have is nothing like what I had to lose in order to find you… I believe this may actually be the start of something beautiful…but I’m terrified at the thought of having something/someone to lose (again)… and I’m hesitant to entrust my heart to someone new, because I don’t think I can survive another heartbreak…and although I want to give you the very best of me, the shadow of my doubts has me convinced that even my best won’t be good enough…that you wouldn’t be able to accept my truth…that you wouldn’t be able to see past my pieces…and I can’t bear the thought of being disappointed again, nor do I want to disappoint you…so, I push you away…

I’m sorry…

If its perfect love you desire, I can never give that to you…the truth is, I’m a mess…and I just might get it wrong more times than I get it right…but if only you could see past my scars into who I really am, then you would know that I’m worth every bit of struggle we might go through…if you could truly see my heart then you would know, my love may not be perfect, but it’s strong…and it would never give up on you or cause you to feel diminished…and while I can’t undo the pain from your past, I promise to handle your pieces with care…to lead you out of the shadows and to saturate you in the light of the future…I only ask that you would have a little faith in me…and don’t discredit my love before you’ve even had the chance to experience it…I promise, I’m nothing like the before…

Goodbye Yesterday, Hello Tomorrow (my 10 minute writing assignment)

I used to be consumed by yesterday, until God blessed me with a new tomorrow…and I live in that tomorrow, today….and now days that were once filled with darkness, tears and unspeakable pain are colored in love and filled with promise…tomorrow has unburdened my heart and given me new inspiration….

At first I thought there was no room in my life for a new tomorrow…I thought tomorrow was merely a band-aid, a temporary fix, that I could use to hold me over until yesterday began again…You see, I had lived in yesterday for so long that the sickness began to feel like the cure and I had convinced myself that yesterday was where I belonged…Then I found myself staring tomorrow in the face and suddenly it all became clear…

“If you’re brave enough to say good bye, life will reward you with a new hello.”- Paulo Coelho

Recovery

This is the last time I will write for you, for I refuse to cry another night for you….to break for you, to fight for you, or to dim loves light for you….

Tonight I’ll light a candle in loving memory of loves loving memory, as I reminisce on the good times, that once upon a time drew you near to me…and as time takes the flame, I’ll surrender loves pain…this I will do all in loves name…

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”- Socrates

For You…

You had me at hello, and then you kept me at goodbye…for you, my heart would smile while all my eyes could do was cry…

From the first kiss I was taken, though we were never as we seemed…and even now as love is languishing, its memory still haunts me in my dreams…

Ours souls united spoke a language of love, that few had ever heard…you wooed me with your poetry, though you never said a word…

I moved to the beat of your drum, though you had no rhyme or reason…for you I weathered every storm, though I knew it was not our season…

You showed me how it felt to fly and then what it was like to fall…for you I gambled everything, only to lose it all…

You held my heart for what seemed an eternity, but when the time came for you to choose…your choice wasn’t me, so in reality I guess you were never mine to lose…

You were the puzzle, yet I was left in a million pieces, that only time can mend…and even though the pain is relentless, for you I would do it all over again….

I love you.

Precipitation

Your love was like the rain…it washed away every painful memory from loves past and breathed new life into my heart…then flowers started to bloom…your love did that for me…

But suddenly, storm clouds started to gather…then out poured loves pain, like a hurricane, destroying everything in its path…including me…there was no safety net for me…no time to find shelter…all I could do was stand by and watch my world crumble…your love did that to me….

Your love brought April showers in July…it quickly turned my summer into fall…it was the coldest winter ever…the saddest season I’ve ever had to endure…and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop crying…and I don’t think it will ever stop raining…