Tag Archives: lesson

Kill it with LOVE

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Honesty hour:  For the last few months I have been battling with some very destructive thoughts/emotions such as anger, resentment, shame, regret, guilt, pride and unforgiveness…if you have ever been wronged by anyone, in any way, then I’m sure you can relate to some of these feelings.  Angie Stone put it best when she said, “there’s no hiding place, when someone has hurt you…it’s written on your face…” as well as in the way you act/react, the way you treat people, how you feel, the things you say…I could go on and on…Anyway, these emotions serve to be a major hindrance on my journey to wholeness and healing as they keep me tied to my past.  So almost everyday I have been warring with myself to not feel these feelings and to not have these destructive thoughts…but to no avail…then the other day as I’m sitting at home watching reality TV (don’t judge me), I hear a song playing in the background…that goes a little something like this:

Kill it with love!
Don’t let it hurt you,
Kill it with love!
Don’t let it break you,
Kill it with love!
Nothing can get to you,
All you need to do is
Kill it with love!

Now I’m a firm believer that God can use anything or anyone to get through to us…and in that moment something clicked!  I could feel God speaking to my heart, letting me know the only way to counter these destructive emotions was with loving thoughts and actions…What a simple solution to my problem!  Right?!!!…Wrong!!!  It is definitely not an easy thing to extend love and grace to someone who has not been very loving and who you don’t perceive as being very “lovely”…However, in His Word, God reminds us “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” and if you really need it broken down, the Message translation for this same verse says:

“I’m telling you to love your enemies.  Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst…for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves…If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus?  Anybody can do that…In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up…Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”(Matthew 5:43-48 MSG)

Now, how can you not feel convicted after reading something like that?!!  I once heard it said ‘it’s good to love those who love you, but it’s even better to love those who hurt you…they are the ones who need it the most.’  What a challenge!…but this month I made a commitment to start being intentional about walking in love.  Now, this does not mean allowing myself to be someone’s doormat or holding on to toxic relationships…I’m not advocating for that in any way!  However, I truly believe in the concept that what we give our energy to is what will grow and expand in our lives.  Therefore, I’m no longer going to give hatred or negativity any room to grow and expand in my life.  Instead, I’m going to make a conscious effort to be a vessel of love and light…I know this is not going to be easy because I’ve endured enough pain to last me a lifetime…but I can’t allow my history to dictate my destiny.  I must press toward the ultimate goal, which is to become better…not bitter…to move forward…not backward…to release the past so that I can embrace the fabulous future I know God has for me…

“…and even though I’ve seen some crazy things and felt some heartache, I still believe that LOVE wins…every time…”  -Rob Hill Sr.

Wounded: A lesson in healing

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Allow me to share with you a little story about healing…

So, when I was 12-years old I developed a scab on the outer part of my right elbow.  The scab was the result of a mosquito bite which I didn’t allow to heal properly (but that’s neither here nor there).  I had to deal with this unsightly black scab on my elbow for approximately 16 years!!!  I consulted with my Doctor on many occasions and every time her advice was the same, “just leave it alone…stop picking at it…it will heal on its own.”  For awhile I would take her advice (and when I say awhile, I mean a few days)…I would leave the scab alone, I wouldn’t pick at it….However, after a few days, I would become bothered looking at the huge black dot on my elbow and I would start picking at it again!  Honestly, I had this scab for so many years I did not think it would be possible for it to ever heal.   Finally, I became so flustered that I went to my Doctor and said, “I need the information for a plastic surgeon…this thing is never gonna heal…I have to get it removed…its been way too long!”  The Doctor gave me the information for the plastic surgeon, along with the same advice she had been giving me all along…to keep my hands off of the scab and allow it to heal naturally…

Moral of the Story…

In the above story, I’m talking about physical healing but how much is this just like our capacity to heal emotionally?  How many times have you found yourself struggling to overcome a wounded heart?  How many times have you allowed doubt to convince you that God is not going to heal you because, if He were going to heal you, he would’ve done it already?  How many emotional scabs have you prevented God from healing because you refused to stop picking at them?  How many times have you grown weary waiting for the Lord? And when weariness set in, you looked to something or someone to heal you of your hurts instead of looking to God?

On my journey to wholeness and healing, one of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is patience.  As a believer, there are a few things being patient entails: trusting God’s timing; being still; and persevering in spite of difficulty.  It’s Gods desire to see us healed and to restore us to wholeness.  However, just as a physical wound won’t heal overnight, neither will a broken heart.  Healing takes time…and everything happens in the Lord’s perfect timing and not a second sooner.  Some of us may come to a place of healing in 16 weeks, others 16 months, while for some of us it may just take 16 years…Hence, the importance of perseverance.  We must not allow doubt to convince us that God has forgotten about us…that God can’t or won’t heal us.  God hears all of our prayers, He sees all of our tears and He WILL heal us! (2 Kings 20:5).  There is no heartbreak too great for God to heal but we must allow Him to work in us.  Nothing hinders the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives more than unrest and disobedience.  We spend so much time on the frontline trying to fight our own battles when all God wants us to do is lay down our weapons and look to Him.  The Word tells us to leave our troubles with the Lord and He will defend us (Psalm 55:22 MSG).  God is not impressed with our efforts, nor does He need our assistance.  Many times we prolong our healing by getting in God’s way.  I walked around with a physical wound for 16 years because I refused to allow it to heal on its own.  Likewise, I’ve walked around with emotional wounds for several years because I refused to allow God to deal with them.  As cliché as it may sound we really must learn to let go and let God.  I know this is no easy task because no one wants to feel hurt…that’s why we look for a quick fix…but, I have learned, it’s in the ‘letting go’ that we come to know peace and it’s in the ‘letting God’ that we come to know healing… and once God’s healing power begins to work in us, and through us, it enables us to release our past so that we may move forward into our divine destiny…

For those who want to know how the story ends (don’t worry, I wasn’t gonna leave you hanging), this year I actually did take my Doctor’s advice and I stopped picking at my scab…and it finally healed!!!  Now, isn’t this just what God will do with our broken heart if we stop trying to mend it ourselves and give it over to Him???

 “You make all things new and I will follow you…forward”