Honesty hour:  For the last few months I have been battling with some very destructive thoughts/emotions such as anger, resentment, shame, regret, guilt, pride and unforgiveness…if you have ever been wronged by anyone, in any way, then I’m sure you can relate to some of these feelings.  Angie Stone put it best when she said, “there’s no hiding place, when someone has hurt you…it’s written on your face…” as well as in the way you act/react, the way you treat people, how you feel, the things you say…I could go on and on…Anyway, these emotions serve to be a major hindrance on my journey to wholeness and healing as they keep me tied to my past.  So almost everyday I have been warring with myself to not feel these feelings and to not have these destructive thoughts…but to no avail…then the other day as I’m sitting at home watching reality TV (don’t judge me), I hear a song playing in the background…that goes a little something like this:

Kill it with love!
Don’t let it hurt you,
Kill it with love!
Don’t let it break you,
Kill it with love!
Nothing can get to you,
All you need to do is
Kill it with love!

Now I’m a firm believer that God can use anything or anyone to get through to us…and in that moment something clicked!  I could feel God speaking to my heart, letting me know the only way to counter these destructive emotions was with loving thoughts and actions…What a simple solution to my problem!  Right?!!!…Wrong!!!  It is definitely not an easy thing to extend love and grace to someone who has not been very loving and who you don’t perceive as being very “lovely”…However, in His Word, God reminds us “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” and if you really need it broken down, the Message translation for this same verse says:

“I’m telling you to love your enemies.  Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst…for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves…If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus?  Anybody can do that…In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up…Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”(Matthew 5:43-48 MSG)

Now, how can you not feel convicted after reading something like that?!!  I once heard it said ‘it’s good to love those who love you, but it’s even better to love those who hurt you…they are the ones who need it the most.’  What a challenge!…but this month I made a commitment to start being intentional about walking in love.  Now, this does not mean allowing myself to be someone’s doormat or holding on to toxic relationships…I’m not advocating for that in any way!  However, I truly believe in the concept that what we give our energy to is what will grow and expand in our lives.  Therefore, I’m no longer going to give hatred or negativity any room to grow and expand in my life.  Instead, I’m going to make a conscious effort to be a vessel of love and light…I know this is not going to be easy because I’ve endured enough pain to last me a lifetime…but I can’t allow my history to dictate my destiny.  I must press toward the ultimate goal, which is to become better…not bitter…to move forward…not backward…to release the past so that I can embrace the fabulous future I know God has for me…

“…and even though I’ve seen some crazy things and felt some heartache, I still believe that LOVE wins…every time…”  -Rob Hill Sr.